Air Tahiti Nui A340-300 economy review (I basically froze my *** off)

Unfortunately, this Air Tahiti Nui A340-300 economy review didn’t work out quite like I thought it would. Instead of being pampered like a king all the way to Tahiti, I froze my *** off for 10 hours deep in the bowels of a packed airplane all the way to…Paris.

Now, I’ve got nothing against Paris, but it ain’t Tahiti. And I didn’t sleep a wink either, so I have nothing to report on the drool-wiping techniques of the flight attendants.

I did get stuck in the rear galley all by myself for 25 minutes though, so I guess that’ll be one redeeming factor of this review…

TN8
Los Angeles, CA (LAX) – Paris, France (CDG)
Sunday, March 10, 2019
Aircraft: A340-313
Registration: F-OSUN
Duration: 10 hours 3 minutes
Seat: 22D (economy)

My full review of Air Tahiti Nui A340-300 economy class from Los Angeles to Paris

Even though I’ve spent a majority of this review so far appearing to feel sorry for myself for the fact that I was going to Paris and not Tahiti, the truth is that I specifically chose this flight for the sheer novelty of it.

The departure out of LAX today was scheduled for 12:25PM, and the check in counters opened at 9:30. My flight from SAN arrived at 7:30, so I had plenty of time to stand in line and think about why didn’t even check to see if there was a way to check in online.

A few taps of my iPhone revealed that yes, it was possible – but not within 36 hours of departure. Any time before that would have been ok, but 36 hours was the cutoff. Huh? No matter though – I was the second person in line and waited patiently for the counters to open.

When it comes to hanging out in Airport terminals, the Tom Bradley here at LAX is not a bad place to do it. It’s large and modern, and it gives me an irresistible urge to go back in time, track down that Tom Bradley guy, and shake is hand for whatever it was that he did to get a beautiful airport terminal such as this named after him.

The boarding process

Thankfully they didn’t finish that welcome message with a snarky reminder that it would be a lot more fun going the other way (to Tahiti). Instead, it was business as usual here at gate 156 and I was getting excited about adding my name to the list of other bloggers who have already written an epic Air Tahiti A340-300 economy review (if such a thing even exists).

Seat overview

Seeing the interior of one of these old Air Tahiti Nui A340s for the first time was an odd sensation. On one hand, it was exactly like I imagined it would be with palm tree murals and tropical colors everywhere (the polar opposite of slate-gray Iberia A340-600 economy).

On the other hand, I was not expecting the large seat-back video screens with USB ports. Seriously – I walked onto this airplane fully expecting to end this flight with a dead phone battery, but seeing those USB ports was a satisfying feeling like none other.

Another surprise was the fact that there were amenity kits and thick blankets at every seat. I was totally expecting paper thin blankets and crunchy pillows, so right away I was silently cursing myself for not making the effort to review Air Tahiti Nui sooner. This is a legitimate (and very competitive) airline between LAX and CDG and I can’t believe it took me this many years to figure it out.

The departure out of LAX

As if my day couldn’t get any better, we actually pushed off the gate 10 minutes early. That hardly ever happens at LAX – let alone on transatlantic flights to Paris (on airlines with names that are hard to pronounce).

Immediately after takeoff, I had the brilliant idea of getting up to use the lavatory before the service started. After all, if I wanted to add my name to the list of others who have already written great Air Tahiti Nui reviews, I needed to be comfortable.

I walked all the way to the rear of the aircraft, where there are two lavatories separated by a large galley. There were two flight attendants preparing service carts for the initial drink and snack service, and I didn’t think anything of it as I pushed the door of one of the lavs open and stepped inside.

I wasn’t in there for more than two minutes, but apparently the flight attendants were quicker than I was and they had started the service from both the front and back of the aircraft simultaneously. There were three service carts in each aisle (at the front, mid cabin, and rear), totaling six that were completely blocking the path to my seat.

The flight attendant nearest to me saw me standing there looking sad and dejected, and didn’t even offer to let me by.

Have a seat there on the jump seat and I’ll let you by soon…

“Soon“ actually meant 25 minutes and I ended up getting a really good tour of the rear galley of this A340-300. It also meant missing out on the snack service altogether, but at least I was able to start this Air Tahiti Nui review off with a semi-embarrassing bang.

The first meal service

Thankfully I made it back to my seat in time for the lunch service to start. If there’s one thing I can say about this Air Tahiti Nui crew, it’s that they were extremely fast and it was easy to miss out on stuff if I was being careless (and you’ve already seen that I was).

There were no menus distributed back here in economy class, but we had the choice of Chicken or Beef. When are airlines going to get adventurous and offer things like Buffalo and Emu instead? Heck, this is a Tahitian airline after all, so where was the Mahi-Mahi option? Just sayin’.

I went with the Chicken, and it was ok. At least there was some tropical color to it (which was probably just food coloring). It wasn’t anything special, and I’ve certainly had better food in economy class. Still, to this day, the meal that I was served in Turkish Airlines 777-300ER economy was the best ever economy food I’ve ever had.

Cabin comfort

The time between meals was largely a blur, for two specific reasons:

1. It was absolutely freezing for the entire flight, and people were pulling their winter jackets out the overhead bins and strapping them on with vigor. I didn’t have any winter clothes with me, so I had no choice but to just sit and suffer. How come I’ve never read about this in other Air Tahiti Nui A340-300 economy reviews?
2. I watched a few really good movies which held my attention (Bohemian Rhapsody was brilliant BTW), and the flight was pretty much over by the time I was movied-out.

The pre-landing meal service

The lights came on with two hours of flying time remaining, meaning that it was time for another bland meal. Hey – I’m just being honest here, since my hopes weren’t very high after the mediocre lunch they served. Air Tahiti Nui reviews aren’t complete without a few complaints about the food, right? I’m just doing my part…

As expected, breakfast was so-so and it did its job of keeping alive until my next meal. That’s all one really needs in a tray of airplane food anyway, right?

The arrival into Paris Charles de Gaulle

Our arrival into Paris was uneventful and right on time, which now that I think of it, is probably the best way to describe this entire Air Tahiti Nui economy class experience. I highly suspect that arriving into Papeete rather than Paris would have put me in a more enthusiastic mood to close out this review, but “uneventful and right on time” is a good thing is a grand scheme of things.